Today

Here is a list of all of the things I have done today, in order.

1. Feed baby

2. Get baby back to sleep (me twice, Fred once)

3. Pump (so that we can continue failed attempts to make baby take a bottle)

4. Run on treadmill

5. Make bed

6. Eat breakfast

7. Straighten downstairs

8. Unload and reload dishwasher

9. Shower

10. Get dressed (while skillfully avoiding the 95% of my wardrobe that causes cleavage, muffin top, or nursing issues)

11. Start 2 loads of laundry

It is 8:45.

Here is what I still need to do:

1. Most importantly, keep baby alive, fed, dressed, clean, happy etc.

2. Walk around house with baby while bouncing and sssshhhh-ing for several hours, maybe less if I am lucky

3. Vacuum

4. Finish laundry

5. Attempt intelligent conversation with husband when he comes home for lunch, possibly while one of us is walking and/or bouncing

6. Attempt to eat lunch, possibly while walking and/or bouncing

7. Mop floors with vinegar and water, even though I mopped yesterday, in an attempt to rid them of yucky build-up which had accumulated due to excessive mopping which is due to dirty dogs/OCD dog mom

8. Read blogs, check Facebook, check discount websites etc. (OK, I don't NEED to do those things, but I am going to)

9. Play game with baby where I talk and she moves her mouth around (her favorite)

10. Pump some more in an attempt to store milk for return to work, which won't actually be necessary since baby won't take bottle

11. Figure out how to make baby take bottle

12. Attempt to eat dinner, probably while shushing and/or bouncing (I don't have to cook dinner, because Fred is going to)

13. Put baby to bed (usually 2-3 times before it takes)

14. Watch DVR'd reality television

15. I forgot, I also need to wash the back doormat and the dog bed cover and vacuum the couches (dog hair-are you noticing a pattern?)

I know what you are thinking.....WOW, Rebecca, you are Supermom! And you are right. The only problem is, I am going back to work in 3 WEEKS and who the heck is going to come over to my house and do all this stuff for me then? My mom will be in charge of the keeping baby alive portion during the day until Christmas break, but I am 99.9% sure she won't be throwing in any free housekeeping services. I am in serious need of some domestic help. And a winning lottery ticket.