Birth Story-Part 3 (The End!)

Sweet Miller is FINALLY asleep and we got zero sleep last night. I am under strict orders from the husband to rest today, so I thought I would try to quickly finish writing about Miller's birth. I want to finish so I can get on to posting about all of her current cuteness. (Except for last night she wasn't very cute when she was demon-possessed and screaming all night.)

OK, so this is the bad part of the story. I am going to tell the quick version. The day after Miller was born, some doctor that we had never seen before came in and told us that Miller's blood culture was growing something. They did not know what it was yet, but he said it could be anything from a contaminated sample to SPINAL MENINGITIS! They immediately took Miller to the NICU to do a spinal tap and told us she would probably have to stay there for 10 days to get antibiotics regardless of what the bacteria turned out to be. Needless to say, we were extremely upset and worried and had no idea what was wrong with our baby girl.

Well, to make a long story short, NOTHING was wrong with her. The moron that did her blood culture did it incorrectly and took the blood of her skin rather than straight from her vein. The bacteria that had grown could have been anything in the world, because the culture was done right after she was born and she hadn't even had a bath yet! When they were finally able to identify the bacteria 24 hours later, the doctors said it had to have come off her skin and that there was basically no way that whatever it was would have been in her blood. Poor Miller had a spinal tap, several heel sticks and IV's, was hooked up to monitors, spent days in the NICU, and was unable to be breastfed and forced to drink formula all because of one nurse's incompetence! I still get SO mad just thinking about it. If anyone knows a good medical malpractice lawyer, please let me know!

Anyway, once they figured out that Miller was a normal healthy baby, just like we figured all along seeing as how she had no symptoms of any kind, they finally let us take her home. We took her home on Sunday and were back at the pediatrician on Tuesday just for a check. She was already almost back to her birth weight.

We are SO glad that Miller is okay, and I am working on being a little less paranoid about her health. They scared me so much and treated her like a sick baby and now I am worrying about everything. Stupid hospital.

Does this baby look sick to you?

Part 2

So, I got my epidural and was happy as could be. Here I am eating ice chips while my mom and Fred ate Chick Fil A. Didn't bother me a bit!

I did steal some secret sips of Coke when the nurse left the room-shhhh. After that, I don't really remember much, but somehow a lot of hours passed and finally, the Nurse Tammy said it was time to push. Again, I will spare you the details, but eventually a baby came out. Go figure! The first words out of my mouth were, "Is she still a girl?" And she was-thank God! I was also really pleasantly surprised that the awesome nurses respected my wish to not have a nasty baby covered in blood and God knows what else thrust upon me at birth. If that makes me a bad mom, then so be it. I am scared of all that junk that's on them when they come out! They washed her up and then brought her back to me. See, everyone, they WILL do that if you ask.

On a side note, that made me think of another funny thing. Poor Fred, he did not want to see what was going on anymore than I wanted him to. Well, let's just say he was forced to hold a leg and he got a little more of a show than he bargained for. I kept asking him if he was ok, because that is just the kind of selfless (drugged) person that I am! He really, really did not want to cut the cord though. Again, I totally understand because that is disgusting. The nurse said he would change his mind, but when the doctor came in he said something to the effect of, "I don't see what the big deal is about that. You don't have to." I, of course, informed them all that if my husband was going to be doing medical procedures, then we would like a discount on our bill. Needless to say, Fred did NOT have to cut the cord. Two points for us.

So, they cleaned her up and brought her to me, and the kid didn't look like she could have possibly come from me and Fred. She had dark hair, dark skin, and dark blue eyes. Luckily, she had a beard, so Fred knew she was his. And here is what she looked like....

Ha ha, only kidding. Here is what she really looked like.

Anyway, she weighed 7'9" and was 20.5" long- who would have thought Fred and I could make a baby that big? I wasn't kidding about my ribs hurting. There was a BIG kid in there!

Next came the best part of the whole day- wonderful Nurse Tammy brought me a Coke with crushed ice in a Styrofoam cup with a straw. For those of you who don't know, that is basically my favorite thing in the world.

Right after she was born, she had her first visit from Gretchen and Julianne. Yay! She has had lots more visitors since, but Mommy got a little slack with the picture-taking. Oh well.

Next, they wheeled us down the hall to our Mom/Baby room. Some super-awesome nurses brought us turkey sandwiches, a box of snacks, AND some chocolate. I was STARVING. And then we got to hang out with our sweet baby.

Miller's Birth Story-Part 1

I told ya'll I was going to have this baby early! And, of course, she would have to come right smack in the middle of Meet the Teacher Night! Needless to say, my class did not meet their teacher, because my water broke the night before around 1:30 AM. I wasn't sure if it was for real, so I went back to sleep until about 4. At that point, I was pretty sure it was for real, but I had an irrational fear of going to the hospital only to be sent home. I was determined not to do that during my whole pregnancy, so I called the nurse's hotline. Strangely enough, the nurse that answered sounded like a little old man. It was quite uncomfortable answering the questions he was asking while picturing a little grandpa on the other end of the phone, but I got over it, because in the middle of talking to him I was finally SURE that my water had broken...I will spare you the details.

Ok, on TV people's contractions start out mild and pretty far apart. This was not the case. By the time we got to hospital, I was already in tons of pain with contractions coming like every 2 minutes or so. I was acting like an idiot and I will be embarrassed for the rest of my life. I was planning on being very dignified and breathing through the contractions like a pro, but instead I was yelling "OWW,OWWWWW,OWWWWW!" and following it with "Sorry, I am so sorry!" to all the nurses. I may have punched my husband at one point and there is a rumor going around that I pinched him. I won't deny the fingernail marks I left on is hand, because he has photographic evidence of those. Oops.

By the time the epidural guy got there, I had no idea where I was. He managed to get the epidural in without me freaking out at all. Since I was so wasted, I totally believed him when he said that the pressure I felt from the epidural going in was a contraction. Pretty much everyone in the room was lying to me on that one. I greatly appreciate that. I have been terrified of getting an epidural pretty much ever since I entered my child-bearing years, and I never thought I would be able to get an epudiral without completely freaking out. Thank you, Nurse Tammy for getting me good and drunk!

Come back soon for Part 2. It is hard to type while feeding a barracuda!

First Day of School

Today was the first day back to school (for teachers, not kids) and I am EXHAUSTED. My ankles are HUGE. I can't believe that I am only going back for 5 teacher work days and then not going back till November. I was looking at my roster and thinking how sad that I won't even be there for these little guys first day of Kindergarten. How sad! Oh well, for now I am just trying to make it through this week without going into labor so that I can have everything ready for my sub and my assistant.

I would like to have this baby on Monday. I can make that decision and follow through with it, according to this ridiculous book:

There is some true hippie craziness in this book, people. Apparently, while in labor, I can simply tell my body what to do and it will do it on command. That is going to come in really handy AFTER the baby comes when all I have to do is say, "Body, lose 30 pounds. Stomach, get flat." I might give that a try!